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AAAHHHHHHH!!!!
The worlds of advertising and marketing offer up today's candidate:

BODY SPRAY



Okay, it's a term, rather than a word, but since I'll be ruling the universe, I don't expect I'll get much blowback when this goes into effect.

Anyway, body spray? What the hell is this about? Remember when it was just called "deodorant," and it was something you applied to your scuzzy body after a shower, rather than instead of one? And it came in scents you could identify, or at least sounded attractive? Do people actually accent themselves with a fragrance called "Earthworm" or "Funeral Home?" What the hell does "Wild Card" smell like, anyway?

If that's not bad enough, Satan's minions in the marketing world would have us believe that dousing ourselves in this crap will lure in the opposite sex like bees to honey; like moths to flame; like Lindsay Lohan to an open bar. You know, fishermen have stuff that they spray on their bait to make it more attractive to the larger, toothier fish they hope to snag. Deep-sea fisherman throw chum into the water in order to attract sharks.

There's an analogy in there somewhere. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, as most of the body sprays I've encountered smell like a linebacker's over-ripened jockstrap soaked in kimchi, I see no reason to tolerate the term itself.

Previous Entries:
Feb 1 - canon
Feb 2 - pwn
Feb 3 - synergize

Comments

( 3 comments — Lay it on me )
psiqueue
Feb. 4th, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC)
PREACH IT WORDSMITH!!
For those of us who are olfactory challenged, we have NO idea what scents are, let alone trying to figure out if "white rain" is better than "cool water".

AND THE FUCK IS THE COLOR DOING WITH A SMELL!?!?!

I understand what blue THE COLOR looks like. I even know what Blue THE SONG sounds. BUT SMELL?!?!

"Guys, you want to get the ladies? Put a little Brown on the old Man Berries and watch how the ladies react...."

jag_trek
Feb. 4th, 2007 11:03 pm (UTC)
Awesome stuff!!
queen_of_ocd
Feb. 5th, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)
So far, I've agreed with all of your choices.
( 3 comments — Lay it on me )

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AAAHHHHHHH!!!!
daytonward
Dayton Ward

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