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F My Life, Apr 14-21.

FML







Be sure to check out fmylife.com!
Buy the book, written by Maxime Valette, Guillaume Passaglia, and Didier Guedj
and illustrated by Marie 'Missbean' Levesque



April 14th:

Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML

(Dayton's note: Idiot.)


April 15th:

Today, I decided I was bored while I was pooping and decided to paint my nails. I had to wait at least 30 minutes to wipe. FML

(Dayton's note: Moron.)


April 16th/17th:

Today, I was eating a dish of ice cream at a local restaurant when I felt something strange in my mouth. At first, I thought it was just some stray plastic packaging or something. Then I realized it was a small bandage. FML

(Dayton's note: Eeeeeewwwwwwww.....)


April 18th:

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died two weeks ago. FML


April 19th:

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

(Dayton's note: Serves you right, prick.)


April 20th:

Today, I realized that my life is so boring that I could not think of a single thing to complain about. FML

(Dayton's note: Whiny dick.)


April 21st:

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

(Dayton's note: There's book smarts, and then there's just plain common sense. Too bad the latter's not really all that common.)

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Comments

( 1 comment — Lay it on me )
archersangel.blogspot.com
Apr. 22nd, 2011 05:16 am (UTC)
RE april 15: that's why i take reading material in with me.

RE april 19: serves him/her right.
( 1 comment — Lay it on me )

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daytonward
Dayton Ward

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