Dayton's Blog: A pimple on the ass of the Internet.

...both here on LJ as well as Facebook:

David Mack (infinitydog, bestselling author, Jack Daniel spokesperson, aspiring curmudgeon and all around good guy) wants you to friend him on Facebook. Why? Well, aside from his normal, insatiable need to be validated in the eyes of complete strangers, he's also posted clips from The Shore Leave Roast of Keith R.A. DeCandido, which was conducted at the Shore Leave convention back in July. The clips feature all of the roasters doing their thing. It's one thing to hear me say "Fuck," but it's another thing entirely when roastmaster Bob Greenberger employs the juicy F-word.

[GeorgeTakei]

"Oh, myyyyyyyyyyy."

[/GeorgeTakei]

Keith was a good sport about the whole thing, and managed several zingers in his own defense once he took the podium to deliver his final remarks. Despite the verbal beating he took that evening, I hope he knows we wouldn't have gone to all that trouble if we didn't love him like the annoying little brother we may or may not have.

To learn more about Dave's shameless attempts to attract more friends, and how to view the roast clips, click on this linky-type thing right here.

My e-Mail backlog tells me I've picked up a few friends during the past few days. I'm not sure what's attracting folks to me (Hey, I showered!), but to all o' youz, I say: "Welcome!"

If you're so inclined, drop a comment and tell me what brought you to my corner of Internet Idiocy. For those of you who've been around a bit and lurk in the shadows, consider yourself invited to give up a little 411, too.

Aloha!

It's been rather quiet around here the past several days (not counting the nightly infodump courtesy of Twitter), and I know I've got some catching up to do. I'm reading through the backlog of e-Mails, trying to scan through the LJ f-list to see what I've missed, shaking my head at the various weirdness unfolding on different message boards, and so on. If you've posted something while I was gone that you think I should be reading, feel free to link it via the comments. I'll do my best to check it out in short order.

A full report of this year's Starfest con is still in the offing, but it ain't gonna happen tonight. For now, suffice it to say Kevin and I enjoyed ourselves as we do every year, and we're already looking forward to returning next year. For those wondering, Space Grunts is now a real, honest-to-golly book, and several copies found new homes during the weekend thanks to the indie book seller doing its thing at the con. Author contributor copies are en route, I'm told.

So...what's up with all y'all?

Well, January 1st, 2009 is almost upon us, and with that, I have a new day-by-day calendar, which I will share with all y'all as the year progresses. Also, since the calendar is, essentially, a year-long trivia quiz, I've decided to try and have some additional fun with it. Here's what I'm gonna do:

1. Post each day's question, and screen the answers.
   
2. Tally the correct answers day to day.
   
3. At the end of each month, the top scorer will (assuming they want one) win an autographed book from my/Kevin's and my backlist, assuming: A) I have it here in storage, or B) I can obtain a new copy relatively painlessly. We'll work it out as necessary.
   

Some rules/points of order:

1. One question per day, except for weekends, since the calendar combines Saturdays/Sundays. I'll probably post the weekend question on Saturday, and leave it up until I post the following Monday's question.
   
2. No need to sign up. If you answer, I'll tally your score(s).
   
3. If you currently post anonymously and want to play (because you just don't have LJ, or you just prefer not to actually reveal your ID to the public at large), either leave your name in the comment with your answer, or shoot me a private message through LJ that tells me who you are.
   
4. The answer to the previous days question will be posted along with a tally of who got it right, and the new day's question. Eligibility to answer a previous question ends once I post a new question, which likely will happen in the evenings on most weekdays. For purposes of displaying scores, anonymous folks will retain their anonymity.
   
5. The same person won't be eligible to win during consecutive months. I haven't yet decided if I'll limit the total number of times a single person can win; let's see if anybody besides my mother opts in to even play this thing.
   
6. I'll cover the postage to get the book to you.
   

I know I haven't come right out yet and said what the calendar is, but a hint is running around out there somewhere in a past LJ entry. So, any takers?

2008 was, for my LJ, anyway, the Year of Bushisms. For 2009, I wanted to find something to cleanse our collective palate. I searched high and low, seeking something I could stand looking at every day for an entire year. There were several candidates...Corporate Bullshit, 365 Dumbest Things Ever Said (I just spent a year doing that), jokes of every persuasion, and even trivia from just about every topic you could name.

And then...I found it: The Holy Grail.

For now, I offer only this one hint:



Comin' at ya, January 1, 2009.

...before the Great Server Move.

See you on the other side.

Here we are: my 1,000th LJ post.

What? No balloons?

Tomorrow, I'll be participating in programming for the Longview Literary Festival here in KC. One of the discussion panels I'll be sitting on will be devoted to the subject of authors and blogs: the good, the bad, the whatever. Why do writers have blogs? What do readers look for when visiting a writer's blog, and so on.

So, I'm going to toss it out to you:

For those of you who follow my blog and/or those of other writers, what do you look for when you visit them?

Are you looking for writing tips?

Looking to catch some info on whatever the writer might be working on?

Just looking to interact with the writer in a "casual setting?"

What does one writer do that you'd like to see done in other author blogs?

Anything you'd like to see one or more writers do, that you're *not* seeing?

Something that you don't particularly care for?

Trying to get a handle on just what type of escaped psychopath has eluded authorities long enough to get their name on a book?

I'm genuinely curious, and will likely use the best of the feedback as fodder for talking points tomorrow. So, hit me.

I'll admit, I'm no marketing genius, but I'm pretty sure that in nearly every walk of life, annoying the shit out of your potential customers never works when it comes to convincing them to buy your products and/or services.

So, what is it about the Internet that flies in the face of this simple notion?

Take this morning. I receive two comments to different LJ entries, both apparently from the same source (Hey, spammer, if you're reading this, then please note the correct spelling of "aperently" I just used there). Actual comments? No. Instead, it's someone purporting to offer a cure for acne. "I didn't think I'd ever find a cure, I looked everywhere, blah blah blah," and then goes on to end with "Check out this book."

Of course, the guerrilla marketing mogul who rolled-out this oh-so clever campaign forgot to offer a link to check out the book, or even mention the title of the book.

Is this what passes for teaching marketing in junior college these days? No wonder so many commercials, magazine ads, and viral web campaigns suck ass.

From LiveJournal:

"Account Structure Update: Back by popular demand, Basic Accounts will be available to all users again by the end of the (northern hemisphere) summer. More information on the decision-making process and proposals relating to Basic Accounts are in lj_2008."

So, all those people -- you know, the ones who already had LJ accounts of one type or another -- who got themselves into a lather over this and staged boycotts and sit-outs or whatever the hell else they did, can now rest easy. You'll once again be free to create all sorts of bogus LJ accounts from which to post your anonymous Supernatural/Dawson's Creek/The OC/Ice Road Truckers slash fanfic. Type on!

So far as I know, no one on my f-list is participating in this so-called strike. If by chance someone on my list is taking part, well...this isn't aimed at you. I mean, you're on my f-list, so I'm interested in what you have to say. (Yes, even you, Ross.)

It occurs to me that -- after having browsed various entries on other LJs and such and checking out all the mouth-frothing taking place in regards to this protest -- that most of the people who look to be casting their lots with the strikers are people I'm pretty sure I don't want to hear from, anyway.

Play on, boys and girls.

P.S. You really want to bring LJ to its knees? Piss off popfiend enough that he stops posting. The day that happens is the day the rest of us have to pack up our shit and seek life elsewhere. He IS LiveJournal, bitches. The rest of us are simply sucking oxygen at his pleasure. Remember this, and remember it well.

Apparently, this is my 500th LJ post.

The autograph line forms to the left.