Dayton's Blog: A pimple on the ass of the Internet.

We're credit card holders, and we pay off our balances without fail each month. We've known for years that in the ass-backwards world of corporate banking, this responsible behavior, rather than earning us a reputation as a trustworthy credit risk, instead results in us being labeled as "deadbeats."

And now, we have this:

USA Today: Latest bank fee is for paying off credit card on time every month.

Fuckers.

Over the years we've had our two current cards, each from a different company (one for "normal, everyday stuff," and the other for tax-deductable expenses), one company in particular has tried their damnedest to trip us up. They slip in weird fees. They change our payment due date to earlier in the month and then hold the check we already sent until it's "past due." They split our payment schedule to twice a month in an attempt to trigger interest and fees in the hopes we'll miss the earlier payment. Every single time, Michi catches them and we call the company, arguing the fee off our account. A few times, I've canceled the card outright on the phone (You can do that when you carry no balance. Nootch.), just to wait five or ten minutes until somebody higher in the food chain calls back, apologizing for the "misunderstanding" or "inconvenience" and groveling to retain our business.

So, we've already discussed it and decided that if our current company tries this new fee, we're kicking them to the curb. We'll either use our credit union's debit card as a credit card and continue to pay the balance that way, or just go straight debit. Another alternative is to get a credit card through them. We've been customers of theirs for sixteen years, and for good reason.

I know, I know: "Closing a credit card account can be bad for your credit score."

Whatever.

It's not like having a credit card is an exclusive fraternity. Anybody with a pulse can have one. The banks, with their rather short memories, seem to have forgotten that one of the big reasons our economy's in the shitter is because they insisted on extending loans and credit to people who possessed no realistic ability to pay back what they'd been given.

As for us? We've bought a house. We've bought cars. We've had a home equity line of credit so we could do some home remodelling. We have IRAs and money market accounts and 401ks. We've had store credit, and we've had credit cards. Our credit's plenty good, bank wonks, and it'll survive our decision not to let you ass-hammer us simply because we've managed to play by the rules all these years.

Sit on a broken beer bottle and spin, you pricks.

Anybody else got their own credit card story/stories? Let's have 'em!

On Friday, NASA will "bomb the Moon." In reality, they're planning to drive a used-up rocket motor from the LCROSS satellite into the Moon so that they can study the resulting ejecta for signs of water trapped beneath the lunar surface. Cool, huh?

According to this newsbit from SciFiWire.com, you can watch the whole thing live on NASA TV (assuming you don't have a telescope powerful enough to watch the whole thing "for real":

SciFiWire.com: How you can watch NASA bomb the moon

I figure the Moon had it coming, the prick.

A judge in Texas has said what several other states as well as just about anyone with a lick of common sense has been saying for...well...ever:

NBCDFW.com: Judge - Texas Ban On Gay Marriage Unconstitutional

Texas. Of all places.

Watching the fallout from this is going to be fucking awesome.

Various news sources are reporting that Larry Gelbart, a multiple award-winning writer/producer with a long and distinguished resume which includes helping to develop the television series version of M*A*S*H, died today at his home in Los Angeles after a long battle with cancer.

CNN.com: 'M*A*S*H' writer, producer Larry Gelbart dies

Aside from M*A*S*H, I've always been a fan of Barbarians at the Gate and And Starring Pancho Villa as Himself. His name is on a very short list of television writers whom I truly respect.

Thank you, Mr. Gelbart, for making us think while you were making us laugh.

Courtesy of the one and only popfiend!

Thanks to Governor Mark Sandford's trainwreck press conference from yesterday, the folks at SomethingPositive.net have come up with something to help us through what is fast becoming a rapidly-recurring sequence of events:

SomethingPositive.net: Political Press Confession Bingo!

My personal favorite: "I'd also like to apologize to my staff, but if they'd lied better then I wouldn't be in this situation so fuck them. Fuck them in the face."



I'm only pissed that I didn't think of something like this first.

Oh look, it's yet another politician making news by not being able to keep his dick in his pants:

Politico.com: South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford admits affair

Setting aside the usual comments and jokes regarding the hypocrisy of yet another Republican...uh, sorry...elected official...getting caught in an affair while espousing family values and all that crap, my biggest question is: HOW THE FUCK DOES A GOVERNOR JUST DISAPPEAR FOR A WEEK, AND NOBODY KNOWS WHERE HE IS?

Why is it I can get 24-hour real-time updates on the most useless dregs of our society, to include what swimsuit they're wearing while they're on vacation or whether they're wearing panties when they climb out of a limo at some nightclub, but the governor of a state can just slip away without anyone noticing? What, do they not have cellphones in South Carolina? After the first day of him not answering the one the state gave him when he took office, shouldn't that have set off some kind of alarm at the state capitol?

By the way, who was supposed to be...you know...doing that governor-type shit while he was off tappin' ass? What if he'd had a heart attack down there in Argentina while he was in the saddle with his lady friend and working off his second dose of Viagra? Did he leave behind a DVD with his final instructions for the lieutenant governor when enough time had elasped and he was presumed dead, like Kirk did for Spock and McCoy in "The Tholian Web?"

Common sense would seem to dictate that it's unlikely no one knew where he was, and his staff has spent the last week stepping on their cranks as they try to cover for their boss. I mean, this guy can't even get his story straight with his own wife as to whether they're separated. I'm hoping to watch some heads roll over this one....

And while we're here, let me ask this: Who flies from the States to Argentina to get laid? Considering the hassles of modern-day airline travel, that must have been one fine honey pot to be dippin' into. Just sayin'.

1. The Bruno/Eminem thing from the MTV Music Awards was set-up. No kidding, really? The microphone battery pack Eminmem was wearing was so totally not a give-away. Look, guys, if you want to teabag each other, exchange phone numbers, or hook up via Craigslist. No big deal, okay?
   
   
2. Octo-Mom has a few words for Kate Gosselin, and on this, at least, I can agree: "Shut the fuck up." Yes, it's a true bitch raising all those kids, what with the money from the TV show and the endorsement money and fourteen nannies lurking just off camera. I feel your pain, sistah.
   
   
3. Oh, and President Obama is supposedly giving a speech....uh...somewhere.
   

And I can already hear the Fox News talking heads going apeshit over #3.

The Mrs. sent me an e-Mail this morning, with an old article from The New York Times detailing Congress passing legislation to ease regulation on banks, securities firms, insurers, and so on. The article was published on November 5th, 1999. Rather than post the entire article here, I went digging and found it in the NYT archive:

NYTimes.com: Congress Passes Wide-ranging Bill Easing Bank Laws.

Among the more interesting quotes:

'The decision to repeal the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933 provoked dire warnings from a handful of dissenters that the deregulation of Wall Street would someday wreak havoc on the nation's financial system.'

*

'But consumer groups and civil rights advocates criticized the legislation for being a sop to the nation's biggest financial institutions. They say that it fails to protect the privacy interests of consumers and community lending standards for the disadvantaged and that it will create more problems than it solves.'

*

'The opponents of the measure gloomily predicted that by unshackling banks and enabling them to move more freely into new kinds of financial activities, the new law could lead to an economic crisis down the road when the marketplace is no longer growing briskly.'

*

And a couple of my favorites:

'"I think we will look back in 10 years' time and say we should not have done this but we did because we forgot the lessons of the past, and that that which is true in the 1930's is true in 2010," said Senator Byron L. Dorgan, Democrat of North Dakota.

and

'"The concerns that we will have a meltdown like 1929 are dramatically overblown," said Senator Bob Kerrey, Democrat of Nebraska.

*

Interesting reading, to say the least.

NyMag.com: Treasury Plan Rebrands “Toxic Assets” in Hopes of Selling Them to Private Investors.


No, no, no. They're not called "toxic assets" anymore. Now, they're "legacy assets." See? Look at that. The sun's coming out. The birds are singing. The flowers are blooming. You can already see the economy rebounding. Son of a bitch.

Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave. You didn't see anything.


Edit to Add: Of course, the markets are up today. I swear, sometimes I'm absolutely sure those pricks do that stuff with a Magic 8-Ball.

Breitbart.com: Madoff pleads guilty and goes to jail in handcuffs


Anybody want to start a pool on how long it takes his cellmate(s) to find out how much, if any, of the money he swiped is stuffed up his ass?

With luck, it'll make the evening news.

Does our city council spend its hours reining in our bloated budget, drunken sailor-esque spending, growing list of all-but ignored critical capital improvement projects, beleaguered school system, or...you know...anything of worth?

No. Instead, these are the issues our city council sees fit to tackle:

Primebuzz.KCStar.com: Tempers flare and purple panties wave during the KC dress-code debate

I must admit up front that I've not visited our vaunted Power & Light District since it opened, with the exception of attending a couple of concerts at our mighty Sprint Center. Therefore, I've not experienced the dress code crisis firsthand. However, I was under the impression that the code was intended to "keep out the riff-raff" and essentially bring a bit of respectability to the entertainment venue.

Nobody told me waitresses were walking around in bras and panties. I'd have been there on opening night.

I don't see the big deal, one way or the other. Want a dress code? Then define it in stark terms so there's no ambiguity, and get the hell on with life. Dispense with the dress code? Then have the security crews actually earn their paychecks by tossing out the rowdy pricks, regardless of what they might be wearing. Some of the rudest, most obnoxious cockpimples in dire need of an ass-kicking wear three-piece suits while tooling around this town in a BMW or an SUV (or even a BMW SUV).

Either way, I don't care. My favorite watering holes are nowhere near downtown or the P&L, anyway, and they don't give a shit what I wear.

Possibly the first in yet another irregular, recurring series.

This installment, offered without comment:

Slow news day on ABC, I guess.

ABCnews.go.com: Obama's Perks: Private Jet, Chef Tax-Free

The balls on some of these people.

There are those in the business world whining about all the "perks" which come with the Office of the President, at the same time crying because President Obama has issued a decree that caps CEO pay for any company accepting federal bail-out money.

We'll set aside the obvious differences between the president's job and that of a corporate CEO, which of course would disembowel this comparison pretty much from the word Go if it were put forth by...well...by anyone with a functioning brain stem. As someone who'll be asked to turn my head and cough up cash in order to fund this all-new version of corporate welfare, I must admit that I've given this some deep, serious thought. My response to CEOs is pretty simple:

Shut. Up. Shut the FUCK up.

Don't like the rules being imposed upon those of you who would suckle at the government teat? Then take your toys and go flush your company down the shitter on your own time and your own dime. Otherwise, you put a sock in your suckhole and earn your allowance like the rest of us, you arrogant pricks.

From The Huffington Post:

California Attorney General Jerry Brown Urges Repeal of Proposition 8

It's fucking pathetic that the state's attorney general had to wait until "further reflection and a deeper probing into all the aspects of our Constitution" finally provided him the basic understanding that was evident to anybody else with a functioning brain stem, but I suppose later is better than never.

According to this piece from the Las Vegas Review-Journal, O.J. Simpson was sentenced today to 33 years in prison for his role in that whole memorabilia kidnapping/armed robbery fiasco last year. He has the possibility of parole after nine years.

I'm fairly certain that Ron and Nicole's real killer will be paying him regular conjugal visits. You know, Rosie Palmer.

My only real question, after having seen some of the courtroom video on TV, is whether he gets credit for time spent listening to the judge's endless yammering.

Okay. That was an interesting choice. I'm confused as hell, but I give points for not going with the safe pick like Romney or (I shudder to say his name aloud) Huckabee.

(Of course, the fact that Huckabee says this is a good choice should be enough to make me shudder, anyway.)

As others have already pointed out, it seems like an obvious move to pander to those who remain bitter about Hillary's spectacular failure to secure the nomination and the fact that Obama didn't anoint her VP (either or both of which were foretold in holy scripture millenia ago, depending on which translation you prefer). If people are so stupid as to use that criteria for choosing who they vote for, then I have to tell you....the world would be better off if that group just stayed home and fucked each other like rabid monkeys until genetics wins out and they all simply dissolve into the carpet.

Palin's relative inexperience pretty much neuters any chance McCain had of going after Obama's qualifications or lack thereof. Yeah, she was a governor rather than a senator, and yeah, she spent the bulk of the past two years actually working in her elected position rather than continuously reaching for the next rung on the ladder, but let's be honest...governing the 45 or so people who live in Alaska is no mean feat. For crying out loud, if her family has to relocate to Washington, that many people leaving the state may actually end up taking away one of Alaska's electoral votes for the next election. 'Pubs, you need to be thinking bigger picture, here.

She's also got a few red flags that baffle me, particularly so far as her being vetted by McCain's team of dirt-diggers and gossip-mongers is concerned. Either they're certain the allegations are bullshit, or else they've already dispatched Darth Rove to deal with the problems and those who cause/caused them.

It's worth pointing out that, according to her bio, she once was the runner-up in a beauty pageant. That's good. Come November...she'll already know what it feels like to come in second.

Note to Self: TiVo the VP debate.

You'd think that with a tropical storm/wannabe hurricane bearing down on your town, common sense would dictate against doing something so completely asinine as attempting to kite surf in gail-force winds.

Think again.

The dude's alive, albeit in critical condition with all sorts of broken bones and bruises. If he's lucky, he'll live long enough to read his nomination for the next Darwin Awards.

War veteran who helped inspire The Great Escape film dies.

Squadron Leader Dowling was at least one of the influences behind Charles Bronson's character in the film.

Though the movie is a fun romp (dramatic license, historical inaccuracies, and all), it's Paul Brickhill's book (along with The Longest Tunnel) which folks should read if they want a full accounting of what actually went into plotting and executing "The Great Escape." The Longest Tunnel is particularly enlightening with respect to the aftermath of the escape.

Rest in peace, sir.

AP: Health proposal rankles Democrats

From the article:

"Democratic lawmakers said Wednesday that the Bush administration is considering a new federal rule that would withhold government funding from health care providers and organizations that refuse to hire workers who won't perform abortions or provide emergency contraception."

So, let me see if I have this right: Bush and his fellow idiots want to make it illegal to penalize those who "discriminate" against hiring people due to religious convictions. These people would then in turn -- due to religious convictions -- use their position and power to discriminate against patients or otherwise refuse to provide some of the care or related services for which they were hired in the first place, using all manner of semantics and clever wording which when boiled away amounts to "My imaginary friend tells me this is bad."

Does that about cover it?



Edited to fix clunky wording. Illegal wasn't correct here

US rejects Iraqi demand for troops' withdrawal timeline.

Let's be clear here. "The US" didn't do any such damned thing. This is Bush and his cronies, who apparently don't possess a functioning brain cell between them. Setting aside all the other ridiculous concessions Bush & Co. were asking to be included in the security agreement for American forces to remain in Iraq, how frikkin' arrogant do you have to be to take it to this level?

Do you ever wonder if Bush was that one guest who hangs around even after the party's over and everyone else has gone home, and whom the hosts hope will just frikkin' get lost so that they can fall into bed before trying to tackle the mess everybody left behind? No, instead of being polite, he was probably hanging around, munching on half-eaten Doritos he found between the sofa cushions and making sure the abandoned drinks were free of cigarette butts. You know, doing his part to clean up.

Is it January 20, 2009 yet?