Dayton's Blog: A pimple on the ass of the Internet.

Okie-dokie.

Hidee-ho, neighbors!

I'm renewing my call to all Trekkies who have A) a camera, B) one or more tribbles, C) a bit of free time, and D) no shame, to snap a pic of a tribble in an odd/weird/crazy place.

See my original post on the topic here: Calling all Trekkies! Calling all Trekkies!

The wackier or more fun the situation, the better. For example, from @starfleetmom on Twitter: Who reads this crap?

I've got some other examples as already provided via e-Mail. For those who sent me links to where pics are stored, if you would be so kind as to provide such links again in the comments section for either entry I've made on this, it would go a long way toward refreshing my swiss-cheesed memory.

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to help out so far!

A small refresher for the slang-challenged (I'm lookin' at you, Poindexter. You know who you are.) -

"Is shit or "Like shit" means it's bad.

"The shit" means it's good.

All of the power for the positive spin version rests upon the shoulders of "The."

Otherwise...well...it's just shit.

Got it?

Word.

Admit it. You know you want a pair.

SubspaceCommunique.com: Jeff Staple-Designed Star Trek Kicks Available At Payless.



More pics available at the SubSpaceComms site.

I'm thinking the red ones might be pretty swank....

With the renewed fanboy/fangirl maelstrom that's accompanying the pending release of the new Twilight movie, to say nothing of the stacks of Twilight and other vampire/vampire hunter/vampire lover/etc. books I see whenever I walk into a book store, I've been thinking again about my back-burnered idea for a vampire book.

Maybe what I need is to give my would-be vampire hunter/pursuer/whatever a code he follows, whereby he only kills whiny emo vampires who insist on standing around moping and glowering at everybody with their head down and just generally annoying the fuck out of the rest of the vampire population (to say nothing of the humans who have to put up with their shit). Everybody knows that if a bloodsucker needs stakin', it's one of these blubbering bastards. What we need is a guy (or lady) who can deliver some hard truth smackdown and maybe even some common sense to these shrill crybabies, punctuating that tough love with the strike of a mallet.

You know: Dexter, the Vampire Interventionist.

Hmmm....

I'm watching Spike TV's 2009 Scream Awards, which I'd recorded to the DVR and then promptly forgot about. So far, the new Star Trek is well represented, with Zoe Saldana and Chris Pine being nominated for "breakout performances" and JJ Abrams winning an award as Best Director.

The weird, yet oh-so neat part? The crowd is cheering whenever something Trek-related shows up. They're not going ga-ga at Twilight levels, mind you, but they're still giving Trek its props.

Star Trek is cool again.

Sweet. :)

You, in the ears, and the funny shirt....

If you have a tribble (Yes, a fake one...but bonus points if you can conjure a live one), a camera, and a willingness to employ them in tandem, I want to hear from you!!!

I'm working on a Trek-related project. It's nothing major...more of a side-project to something larger. However, this bit will "require" pictures of tribbles in various locales. Riding the bus. Eating lunch at Hooters. Attending a football game. Trick or Treating. Whatever. I only need a few, but if I get enough decent responses, then maybe I can convince The Powers That Be to do something with the extra pics.

(Which brings me to this important point: To play, you have to be willing to have the picture "published" in some manner, either online or -- possibly -- in print.). Not such a big deal if it's just the hairball in the pic, but if you or someone you love or hate is also in the frame, then obviously we don't want to do anything with the photo which might go against your wishes.)

If you're interested, let me know by commenting here (All comments will be screened for now.). I'll have more info on just what I'm up to in the coming days. Don't worry; it's nothing weird.

Well, nothing weird for me, anyway.

For those already on the case, you can send any pics to me via e-Mail: daytonward AT kc DOT rr DOT com, and be sure to put "Tribble Pic" in the Subject line.

Thanks!

*** UPDATED SEPTEMBER 8th! ***

Okay, school's starting up for most kids, vacations are over, Labor Day Weekend is here. We've had some great responses, but I'm thinking I've gotten all the pics I'm gonna get.

What was the plan? As I posted originally:

If you're reading this and plan to take one of my/our books with you to read, let's have some pictures! Give it to Mickey Mouse to hold up for a photo op. Lean it up against that sandcastle your kid's building on the beach in Panama City. Better yet, give it to the Hooter's waitress in Panama City. See if the guard outside Buckingham Palace will let you prop it up against his boot for a shot. Hand it to a booth babe at Comic-con. Make kradical pose with it at Shore Leave. If you live near something unique or unusual, let's see a shot with that. Go nuts. Extra points awarded for originality as well as sheer lunacy.

I've got links to what we ended up with down below. In the next few days, I'll revisit everything, and post my "Top 10" favorites. From there, I'll throw out a poll, and see which one comes out on top.

Thanks to everyone who participated!


---

From pooka_pest and her iPod:

Open Secrets

From alpinemaps, invoking a bit of nostalgia for my service days:

Glass Empires

Glass Empires, again

From scottpearson and his lovely daughter, Ella:

Open Secrets

Open Secrets, again

And again

(See more pics here.)

From actorz_inc:

Summon the Thunder

STT again

<-- this kind of thing will get me in trouble :)

From @computist on Twitter:

The Genesis Protocol

From julioangelortiz:

Open Secrets

From Kevin Lauderdale, courtesy of his lovely daughters:

Open Secrets

From ronny_corral:

Mere Anarchy

Mirror Universe: Shards and Shadows

From paul_hs, courtesy of his adorable daughter, Sophie:

The 4400: Wet Work

Wet Work, again

From @starfleetmom on Twitter, at the recent Vegas Trek con:

Open Secrets, with her daughter and a couple of friends

Open Secrets again, this time with a shaggy away team

Open Secrets yet again, with "Seven of Nine"

Open Secrets, with Data (just in from South America!)

Open Secrets one more time, with @televixen on Twitter!

** NEW!! **
From friend and fellow writer Kevin Lauderdale, while on vacation in Seattle:

Open Secrets, at the Seattle Public Library

Open Secrets, again, at the Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame

** NEW!! **
From @ravendragonstar on Twitter:
Open Secrets, with him at Puamana Maui Hawaii
Glass Empires, with his lovely wife, Gina, also at Puamana Maui Hawaii

---

And in the special "PhotoManip-orama" Category:

From Jerad Formby, he of Trekcast.com's Hey, Star Trek! blog:

Oh, myyyyy ** Not safe for work!!! **

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DON'T FORGET TO CHECK FOR MORE ENTRIES, IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!

I got an interesting e-Mail today. A reader of this here LJ asked me to dig up and provide for her a post I made some time ago whereby I answered the "request" of an aspiring Star Trek author to help him get his book(s) published. It took some extra jogging on said reader's part to remind me of the post in question, after which I had to go digging in the archive to find it for her. I originally posted this back in April of 2008.

Having read it again, and while I don't apologize for what it says, I did fail to make one important point the first time around: This ain't how I typically reply to people who ask me about writing, be it Star Trek or anything else. I think my record on how I usually tackle such queries speaks for itself.

That said, the FuckMuppet(tm) who sent the query to which I responded with the following screed was altogether a different variety of arrogant, insulting, delusional "fan," possessing an overdeveloped sense of entitlement wrapped around an alarming lack of interpersonal skills. It demanded a proportional response.

So, from the vaults, I once again offer up "(Hopefully) Helpful advice for aspiring Star Trek writers," as originally posted:


-----

Came home this evening to an amusing message in my e-Mail box. Without going into specifics, let's just say that the sender of this particular missive is a passionate Star Trek fan, which in and of itself ain't really a bad thing.

However, our messenger friend fancies himself a writer. Not only that, he wants to be a Star Trek writer because, damn it, he's got the cure for all that ails the Star Trek franchise these days.

(Since first writing this entry, I've learned that several Trek authors also received the same e-Mail, outlining our hopeful writer-to-be's plan to submit his work to Pocket for consideration.)

He's pursued his goal with verve. He's visited the Pocket Books website. He's read the submission guidelines for Star Trek fiction, and has come away unsatisfied with what he's found. Of course, he's made the mistake committed by a goodly number of aspiring writers, in that he's either failed to comprehend what he's read, or else has ignored those things which are not in line with what he wants to hear in order to pound his chest and continue his crusade.

Because of that, he now appears to be fueled by a host of misconceptions which, if he's actually followed through with what he says he plans to do (assuming he's serious and this wasn't some elaborate practical joke), will result in his Star Trek opus, along with all of its unrealized potential, being sent to the trash.

So, in the unlikely event he's reading this (I suppose it's possible, as he got my e-Mail address from somewhere and may well know about my website), I'm posting the following bits of (hopefully) helpful advice, for him as well as anyone else who might harbor similar ambitions and perceptions:

( Read on, brave souls.... )

My work here is done. I'll be here all week. Be sure to try the veal, and remember to tip your servers.

-----


And there you go. The original post, and the responses from readers that it generated, can be found here.

Reading the boards, I see there's a fresh bout of "ZOMG! The new Trek movie wiped out the old timeline!" hysteria going on. I've been hit with a couple of e-Mails requesting begging that we Trek writers not acknowledge the new movie timeline, and instead go on about our merry way.

Folks, relax. Breathe regular.

The film itself -- during one of those rare moments where it's not cock-slapping us with special effects that make you want to reach for Dramamine, Saltines, and a barf bag, lens flares that make Stevie Wonder cover his eyes, music dialed up to 11, and extreme close-ups of the mole under Chris Pine's right ear (Kirk doesn't have a mole there! It's not canon!) -- does actually downshift long enough to explain that the "new" timeline is, in effect, an alternate reality.

As Spock (either one) might say, "Logic dictates that the existence of an alternate reality presupposes the continued existence of the original reality, if indeed it was the original reality and is not itself an alternate version of some other reality."

Cripes. Reading that back makes my head hurt.

Screw it. Here's Doc Brown to explain it all:



Any questions?

So, to recap: There now are two timelines: RodTrek, and JJTrek and, for all intents and purposes, they're separate. Never the twain shall meet, except perhaps in the realm of fanfiction or if Paramount/Bad Robot/CBS/whoever/etc. feel the need to rope in Shatner for the next movie. As Paul Buchman might explain it to his lovely bride, Jamie, on an episode of Mad About You:


Paul: "James, sweetie, listen: A, there's original Trek, the stuff Roddenberry made up. And 2, there's this new Trek, whatever this knucklehead Abrams came up with."

Jaime: "And they're different from each other?"

Paul: "This is what I'm sayin'."

Jaime: "Why can't they just...I don't know...squish them together somehow?"

Paul: "Never gonna happen, my friend."


Stuff like books, comics, toys, and so on will continue to depict either/both incarnations of the original crew of the Starship Enterprise as they see fit, possibly from now until the very day the Doctor rocks "Tainted Love" while watching our sun go nova. Seats for that are going fast, BTW.

Checking e-Mail this morning, I get this interesting gem:

-----

We are interested to buy your domain name DAYTONWARD.COM and offer to buy it from you for 80% of the appraised market value.

As of now we accept appraisals from either one of the following leading appraisal companies:

- fleos.com
- sedo.com

If you already have an appraisal please forward it to us.

As soon as we have received your appraisal we will send you our payment (we use paypal for amounts less than $2,000 and escrow for amounts above $2,000) as well as
further instructions on how to complete the transfer of the domain name.

We appreciate your business,

Yours truly,

-----

Setting aside the "and without the courtesy to give me a reach-around," perfunctory tone of the note, there's no mention of a party or company who might be interested. Just some douche nozzle with a GMail.com mailbox. What the hell is that about? This is the first time I've ever gotten anything like this. Anybody else every encounter something similar?

Weird.

EDIT TO ADD:

Did some digging, and found out it's simply a scam to get you to pay for one of the "appraisal services" listed in the e-Mail:

http://www.namepros.com/domain-name-discussion/567516-would-this-email-be-a-scam.html

Sit on a broken beer bottle and spin, cocksuckers.

Oh....and HAPPY WEDNESDAY TO YOU ALL! :D

This apparently has been around for a while, but I only just saw it tonight. Thanks to Kevin for the heads up:

WARNING!!!
SHAMELESS EGO TRIPPING AHEAD!!!


Spotted at another grocery store near where I work, and where I sometimes stop to grab lunch from their salad bar buffet:



This shit is surreal.

In the four-plus years I've been going to that store to grab lunch an average of once a week, these folks have never stocked any sort of science fiction books, much less a Trek novel. And it's not just this one; Dave Galanter's newest TOS novel, Troublesome Minds, is also showing up, along with more spottings of the most recent titles, in venues which usually have no Trek presence whatsoever. Has the movie made that much of a difference so far as what these stores stock in their book sections?

Hell yeah, I'll take it.


We now return you to your regularly-scheduled blog reading, already in progress.

Brought to my attention by the incomparable faustfatale:



Now I want to see the whole flick done up this way....

Such people walk among us, and they vote.



As my grandfather used to say, "If common sense was really that common, more people would have it."

....about Star Trek on the Internet, #4,762,378:

Deep Space Nine was a plot-driven show, while Voyager was very character-driven.

No. Really.


This bit of nerdity brought to you for no particular reason.

Okay, this is just damned funny:

io9.com: Alien Versus Predator Game Night


My favorite is the shot of them playing pool.

As posted on TrekMovie.com:

Watch 'Wrath of Khan - The Opera' (via Robot Chicken)

It airs this weekend as part of Robot Chicken on Cartoon Network.

This is, quite simply, Made of Awesome.

This was one of those ideas that sounded better in my head, but as I'm up late, unable to sleep, and there's nothing good on TV, I give you: Star Trek: The Facebook Voyages.

The guinea pig episode? "Spock's Brain," of course:

TEASER
( Read me.... )

 
ACT ONE

( Read me.... )

ACT TWO

( Read me.... )

ACT THREE

( Read me.... )

 

ACT FOUR

( Read me.... )

THE END.

(I need to play with this some more, but it's a start.)

With my lunch today, came sauce packets with the following captions:

- Will you scratch my back?

- Not it!

- Thanks for rescuing me. Hot was getting on my nerves.

- This space for rent. Inquire within.


I now return you to your lives, already in progress.